you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
