FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
