Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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