just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
