I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
