he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
