Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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