i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
