That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
