who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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