I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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