She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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