brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
