I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
