You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
