Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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