Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
