This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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