took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
