You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Couch. On fire.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
