It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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