Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
