My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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