10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
