Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize