I looked at my own cervix.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize