He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
