Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
