What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
