god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
