Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
