perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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