No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize