I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
farters have to be the big spoon...
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
