i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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