dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
