im drinking this country out of the recession.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
