im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
