Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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