i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
