You're my little dorito
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
