Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
