Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
