oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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