your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I don't think brook has ever known best
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize
