I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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