No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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