Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
