There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize