I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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