She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
