are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
