i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
