i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
