Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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