it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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