i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
