I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
