Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
