i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
smell my finger.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
be right there i have to get my cape
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
