That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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