Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
