After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
