The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
So I just went to clothing optional bar
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize