She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
