if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
