you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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