are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
