I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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