She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
are you so shy because you have an std?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize