white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
