I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
