my mouth tastes like poor choices
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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