Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
