Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
