I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
