Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
