If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
