will power is for people who don't want to get laid
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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